But if you allow yourself to learn from your failure, it can be a powerful force. Humans often care to prevent negative events more than they care to experience positive ones. So “bad” can be a stronger teacher than “good,” as long as you bother to learn.

We concluded that when failure threatens the ego, people disengage from the failed experience and stop paying attention. A failure to learn from failure both is ironic and has grave consequences. If you only learn from the tennis matches you win, your rate of improvement is only half of what it could’ve been. You cannot learn from something you’ve chosen to ignore. Further, you might develop an unrealistic view of your abilities.

Another way to protect your ego when you fail is to remind yourself that you’re always learning and improving. When you recognize that your skills and knowledge are always a work in progress, you’ll tune in and learn more.

I think I should have a piece of paper with a message reminding me not to get discouraged by failure.